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Diary of a
 Munchkin Housecat |
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| Excerpts from Lollipop Fluffer-Nutter's Daily Cat Diary: Day 683 of my kitty captivity: My captor continues to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. She dines lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust her, I once again vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at her feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into her heart, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, she merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of her accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate my captor by weaving around her feet as she was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captor has arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now.... |
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A note from the human (seeing as how SHE pays for the website!):
While it is true that the Fluffer-Nutter cannot go outside, it is a necessary thing because of his short munchkin cat paws. He is allowed on the patio but any further adventures would turn him in to a sausage shaped coyote snack in no time. A heartfelt thank you to Saint Meows kitty rescue shelter for rescuing this adorable little scalywag from the projects in Boston. He has provided endless hours of joy, laughter and cuddly companionship to my very hectic life and has put a smile on the face of everyone who has met him. He has cultivated quite the fan club from LA to Boston and Minneapolis in between. You can join the fluffernutter fan club for occasional updates on his daily cat diary by sending an e-mail to: LollipopFlufferNutter@clayburgcreative.com To make a donation to Saint Meows click here. |
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